The obituary notice of Michael Philip KERSHAW

Dear Dad.

It's your boy writing to tell you what's going on in my life now. First off I want to say that I miss you dearly. Nearly six years on and I still have my days where I struggle. Not like you don't know that. I believe that you're always watching over.

Me and Megan are preparing to welcome baby finley into the world. You're officially a grandad. I can't wait to walk in your shoes! Although you're unfortunately not here anymore you will still play a significant part in his life. I will talk to him about him and will display your best qualities in myself during his upbringing. I know now, that I have to be strong, for him and for Megan. Over the next few days I beg you give me a sign that you're watching over us, perhaps play your favourite song on the radio whilst I'm in work or perhaps I'll see two magpies tomorrow on my way to work. I usually only see 1 you know the saying. 1 for sorrow 2 for joy, 3 for a girl or 4 for a boy. Perhaps send me four magpies for our baby boy, I'll keep an eye out for them tomorrow and I'll know it's you!

Please know that me, grandad, Jane, alex and the girls haven't stopped thinking about you. We miss you and gran please let her know that we love her too and I'm a little more at peace now she's back with you.

I'm looking at studying towards a uni degree in law and spanish now. I want to do this so that I can work with a skill set I built on my own and mainly so that I can support megan and finley as best I can with a better career. That's all for now. Much love and rest easy up there. I need to continue now working hard to make you megan and finley proud.

Goodnight Dad
Gone but never forgotten.
Your son
Lewis

Dear dad,

Firstly, I'd like to apologise. I am sorry I didn't write to you last christmas. I want you to know you are not forgotten. Even after 4yrs i still think about you and miss you daily. At this time of year, I long to see you. I forget that you're gone. There’s so much that I'd like to go through with you. To start with, I am still with Megan. I don’t know how she dealt with me all this time. We’ve done so many amazing things together. I don’t know where I'd be without her. I really wish you could have got the chance to get to know her more. You would have loved her. She’s amazing. She would have loved you too. I really wish you could have cooked her tea sometimes. I always talk about how good you were at cooking. I don’t think she understands how good!

So, the first big thing I have to tell you is that we bought a house together. It is great. We are so happy in our new home. It is the meaning of perfect. You also contributed towards the deposit on our house. You’ll always be a part of our future together. I remember before you went away you told me to spend your money wisely. To travel the world with it, buy a house and not to blast. I did just that. This year we have managed to get away a few times. We went to tenerife with it first. That was one of the best holidays of my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go there so thanks for that. I wish you could see all the pictures we took whilst we were there. We have so many funny stories to tell. Like the time we almost got stuck in a drug den. We also went on a cruise round Norway, though that wasn't with your money. It was a gift from Megan's auntie which I am very grateful for. It’s a beautiful place. You would have been blown away by it. Even inside the cruise ship was amazing. Words can’t describe it! And the food! It was probably my favourite part of it. Lol. All inclusive. I had some of the best meals of my life on board that ship.

The final holiday we took out of your money was to Santori

Happy New year dad, love from Lewis x

To dad,
Firstly, I'd like to wish you a merry Christmas in heavan, though you're not here, you are definitely not forgotten, it scares me how no one knows how lifes going to be and I really hoped we had much more time to be with each other making memories and i would have loved for you to get to know megan a bit more, she means a lot to me and I feel like she would have loved you as me and you were very similar people on the inside and I swear as i grow older and wiser I see more and more of you in me, you were such a handsome, knowledgeable man, you didn't deserve the depression and anxiety you fought each day, but you can relax now, you're out of all your pain and that makes me feel slightly better, its been over 2 years dad! Over two years and I still feel the same since you passed, not many people understand what it's like for me but i promise no matter how bad I feel I will look after gran and grandad as best I can, I still see gran on the regular and i want you to know she really really misses you, but im helping her pull through. I am overdue a catchup with grandad but this pandemic has gotten in the way. I wont keep you much longer you need to celebrate with your pals up in heavan and with great gran, i hope you and George have a pint together tomorrow up there he was so sad when you passed, he said he 'lost his best friend' and I know how he feels because you where more than a dad, you were a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a great advise giver and you knew the answers to everything, i wish I was a bit more like you in that sense, strong, clever, intelligent, motivating, kind and most of all you could have a good laugh.
Good night God bless
I miss you and im typing through blurry eyes now lol, but I'm going to pull myself together now even though I remember you telling me, real men aren't Afraid to cry, and it takes strength for a man to show his tears, the difference is now you're not there to make me laugh with your silliness.

Hya dad,
I wrote a song about you. I wish you could hear it, I'll leave the words here and maybe you can read it. It is called 'forever and day.'

Forever and a day

It doesn't seem at all, too far away
The world was always spinning our way
But now it seems it's not at all the same
You're loving guiding hand has disappeared

I thought we had forever and a day
I thought the world was spinning our way
I thought we had forever and a day
But now all I have is yesterday

I thought we had forever and a day
But all I really had was yesterday
I think of all the happy times we shared
And then you're guiding is right there

And now we have forever and a day
And now the world is spinning our way
And now we have forever and a day
I'm Thankful for every single day

And now we have forever and a day
And now the world is spinning our way
And now we have forever and a day
I'm thankful for every single day.

Hya dad
Today is a day I didn't think would come anytime soon, in fact this time last year I thought we had an eternity left and I couldn't imagine my life without you, but here I am living the unimaginable.
It doesn't seem two minutes since I was only little and you'd read me a bed time story and tuck me to bed with a tender kiss goodnight. Although in recent years, there was no tucking me into bed, I was still blessed with your kindness in the form of a nice warm mug of tea and some chocolate cake for supper. I miss that at times, but not as much as I miss you, your jokes, your kindness but more than all that, your smile.
As I got older I learnt about your long battle with anxiety and that you were really ill, but you never showed it. You really were a brave man and I make it my aim to capture the very essence of your bravery and strength and encorporate it into my own life, though I'm nowhere near as strong as you, at least not yet.
But that is where you come in, you'll guide me in spirit form, in the same way you guided me to the right path when I was wrong and as long as I remember that, you're on my shoulders every day.
These days, though you're not here to give me a mug of tea or to tuck me to bed, I am still blessed with your kindness as I look into the skies to see which star sparkles the most, which one shines the brightest, and when I see that star I know its your way of saying "right, night lew." as you used to. To which my reply would be,
Night dad, sleep tight with the angels.
Xxx