The obituary notice of Christina (Tina) CHAPMAN

Mum my heart is hurting I feel like its going to burst out my skin,the constant stomach churning,never been surrounded by so many people in my life and feeling so alone with my thoughts and being at the lowest point ive ever been in my entire life.
No one understands,they say I no how you must be feeling they have no idea how I feel.I feel like my whole world has been pulled from under my feet.Why do they seem to think that I shouldn't be crying anymore that I can pull myself together,I cant pull myself together I just want and need my mum.How can people try and say they understand they have no idea.I dont no how to navigate or function anymore and keep telling myself you are with me and guiding me but I want to have you back to be my mummy bear here again,to be the perfect nanna,I need a mummy hug,I need you to wipe my tears,tuck my hair behind my ears and tell me it will be ok,I need your advice,I want your love and warmth.
Help me please I cant do this anymore.
I love and miss you more each and every day.
When we were gifted you as our mummy bear it was the bestest gift of all.How lucky we were to get the best.They say the harder you love,the harder you grieve.
I now understand what real grief means,it means you will never be the same person as long as you live.
I love you and miss you like crazy and hope you are free from pain,keep polishing the stars to keep them shining bright mummy bear.
Night night big hugs to heaven

41 years today that grandad long passed away,
Re united with his green eyed girl on this day.
We light a candle so soft and bright,
To honour there love and keep them in sight.

My heart is broken everyday and im grieving my mummy in my own way xxxxxlove you and miss you with your daddy on his 41st year that he grew his wings and flew away. Love you and miss you too much.
Karen xxxx

Tomorrow will be the anniversary of your beloved daddy passing away.
You were 8 months pregnant with me when you lost your hero.
I honestly don’t know how you did it.
You truly were the strongest person ever.
I have felt the excruciating pain of losing my beloved hero but to do it whilst expecting a baby and with two young children who depended on you is truly mind blowing to me.
Every year you lit a candle, shared memories and had a tear.
How lovely for you that this year you don’t have to do that, you can be with him for now and all eternity.
I will light a candle for your amazing daddy and think of you both. Love you mummy tons and tons xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A year ago today you gave us the news that would change our lives forever.
The world stood still and I knew life would never be the same again.
How was that only a year ago?
A piece of me died when you did but a piece of me also died when you gave us that news! I’ve never felt whole since and never will again

11th of November-to most this is remembrance day to the fallen... for me it was a day i will never forget.
I remember you wanting everyone to be at your house together you wanted to say it once and once only.
You battled through tears to deliver to your family the most painful thing.i remember I couldn't even look at you I sat at the table and just heard pallative and end of life care.
My whole body felt like it had gone into shock,I couldn't breathe how could it actually be that my mummy bear the most perfect selfless person in this world was saying these words.19 weeks later and it happened the words that came out your mouth on the 11th happened and you went into the care of myton hospice.you fought and fought with the strength you always showed but in the end the fight got harder for you mummy bear until you had to give in to the fight.i watched you fade away until you didn't breathe back out.
One year from the day you told us and now I dont have you in my life that is so hard to have no mum to give me the most unconditional love,the constant support,the hugs,the advice.i dont even no how I get up everyday because im simply heartbroken without you.i never imagined a life with no mummy bear in it,nothing can ever prepare you for the pain of loosing you.i would give anything to see you again.
I miss you so desperate mum,I need you so much and I cant live without you.i will miss you not just today but every single day and I will love you my whole life.I just want to no why.why did it have to be you the best there is none of it makes sense .
There is no cure for a broken heart and I know how that feels more than ever.i know you are with me and I know you will always be right by my side if I call your name.I will make you proud forever,I will always think what did mum say,I will listen to you to guide me,to stay strong through the bad days and fight the battles.i miss you too much and I will need you forever.love you so very much.i will always be your baby xxxxxx

My beautiful mummy! I miss you so so desperately. The pain never gets easier, each day you’re not here is harder and harder.
I just want a mummy hug so so much.
My heart hurts from the pain of missing you. You truly were the best mummy in the whole world. I love you tons and tons

My beautiful mummy bear
I had a present gifted to me,vouchers to have a memory bear made out of your clothes/nightwear.5 months in the making and today I received a box,my very own mummy bear made from your nightwear and still having your beautiful smell as a reminder of you.
So emotional,but so beautiful.
Thank you to my bestest friend Michelle for making this possible,the bestest present ever I absolutely adore it and will treasure it for the rest of my life.