This time of year comes around again and somewhere in my subconscious, thoughts of you hit me like a brick. It never gets any easier and I lay here awake as I'm woken by another dream of you and my desperate need to understand why this had to happen. I can never forgive myself for not getting that one photo of us at the Award night, so I would have something to cherish. Now all I have are my memories and I hate to admit it, but I do stand at your grave and weep all these years later. That is just how big an impact you made on my life and many others.
It is a funny thing, this grief and how our minds just seem to know when that time of year is coming round again. I know that I will have another month or so, of these intense memories of you, hitting me in the dead of night, whilst everyone lays asleep. It doesn't ever get easier but thoughts of how you would have wanted me to live my life, keep me strong. You were the one to notice that my life wasn't all it seemed and took that extra time to tend to me, with gentleness and concern. It was the way you were with everyone. A huge, fun-loving character and just wanting to make sure that everyone is ok. I will stand at your grave and once again weep, because my tears flow ever so easily when I think of one of earth's greatest gifts, no longer being with us.
I miss you and you will never leave my thoughts. Xxxxxxxxx
Kimberley Martin
08/04/2024
