My dearest Grandad Bruce,
This time last year, I was sat in the office with no idea how my world would fall apart in just 60 minutes time. That night, surrounded by my manager and grandma, I learned that the one person who I loved above anything else had been ripped away from me. It's tragic to think back and realise that my first thought upon seeing my grandma in the lobby was that something had happened to my dad because I could never compute that it was you, never MY Grandad. I will always remember the chasm that opened in my chest that night, the gaping hole in my soul that you used to fill with your laughs, your jokes, your silly little mannerisms.
It has been a year now, a year that you should've been here for. I should've been living with you, we were halfway through my room makeover to make it more homely for me. I will always regret not calling you that Saturday or Sunday, not listening to my gut telling me I should call you. I'd only seen you the Wednesday before, only been into Aldi to grab your shopping and then go home with you for a few hours. How cruel is it that we talked about how you had years left to live and then six days later, my soul was ripped apart by your death?
I'm not okay, Grandad Bruce, I will never be fully okay ever again. I celebrated my 20th Birthday with all of my family but not you, Christmas was sad and even when we tried to make the best of it, I couldn't help but wish you'd walk in the door, New Year's Eve was magical but there was a side of me that wished I had spent it with you.
I would do anything for one more hug, one more laugh, one more conversation.
You were my best friend and living without you has destroyed me in every way, even when I try to pretend that I am okay. The tears have stopped and I hate that because I could never cry enough at this loss. You are my Grandad, my safe place, my home and I miss you so much. Never forget that the people who are still here will always love you.
Lots of love,
Your little bain
Elouise
17/09/2025
